It seems that my mind is always prone to wander, and it turns out that what it most often wanders to is a debate so classic that it has existed in the minds of humans since the concept of a greater power first surfaced. Are we in fact not only cognizant of but also in control of all of our actions, or is there truly a larger plan out there for us, one so large in fact that we have no actual control over our own lives?
For me, a predetermined life is a difficult concept to fully embrace. The idea that, no matter what we do, we are actually doing what has already been predestined seems to kind of defeat the purpose. If this were the case, then wouldn't we be able to predict the exact path of the world, much less the universe? I mean, if ALL of our actions were done for a greater purpose, then it would make sense that the we should have a greater sense of our own purpose, wouldn't it?
Or is that the point? Is our predetermined but unknown life the exact same as a life lived with free will?
I am a firm believer in reincarnation and believe that the soul goes from one life to the next learning lessons that enable the soul to reach levels of enlightenment necessary for true growth. It makes sense to me that this life, the one you and I are currently experiencing, is only one in a (hopefully) long line of lives. To me, the existence of old and young souls makes absolute sense, in fact, I am egotistical enough to believe that I can tell one from the other after only a couple of minutes of interactions.
It would certainly make complete sense to come into this life with a predestined plan made up of many little lessons and experiences all meant to teach as we live. If this is the case though, then one has to wonder who exactly decides what life we live and what lessons we learn? Does our current life dictate our next as our past life did this one? If we were a king who abused his monarchy would we need to be taught humbleness and come back as a street urchin destined for nothing greater than a life lived solely to exist? If we we a kind and gentle animal lover, would we come back as a like minded individual's puppy?
Have you ever experienced deja vu? What exactly do you make of it? How can you explain reliving a moment in time that you already know? How is it possible that you could know not only the exact situation as it happens, but also all of the players and the EXACT conversations?
Well, if this (and every) life is predestined, that answer is pretty simple; we are experiencing the exact life we mapped out before we came to this world. The question then becomes, what about those people who rarely or never experience deja vu? Does this mean that they are off their intended path? And wouldn't this mean that they CHOSE to veer?
The theory of a predestined life seemingly breaks down even further once you start the think about all of the greedy, the murderers, the abusers in this world. If we are in fact living a predestined life, and that life is meant to grow and learn, what purpose do these people serve?
Think back to your greatest periods of growth. I am going to assume, if you are at all like me, that they came after moments of extreme elation or duress. I'm going to guess even further that, if you think even harder, the majority of the greatest growth was after something truly painful (abuse, the loss of a loved one, a decision or experience gone bad). If this is the case then it makes absolute sense why these people exist, and it makes sense why we will always have good and evil.
You see, for us to truly appreciate good, we have to know what the opposite feels and looks like. For us to grow we have to have sorrow, for us to live we have to experience joy. I can only hope that whoever is in charge of reincarnation utilizes it fully. If someone chooses to live a life bereft of good that they are forced into (or decide on) a life that is meant to teach them the errors of their ways.
Maybe you can see why the debate rages so greatly for me, and maybe it is supposed to. Maybe there isn't an absolute answer to it all, maybe instead we are left with an intended life's path that we can choose to follow. Maybe the signs are all around us, that the universe is indeed trying to help us stay on this path but we sometimes get in our own way.
You see, I am beginning to think that maybe this life is whatever I want it to be. While I do think that there is an intended path for me, I believe that this path is mine to find. Even though I haven't experienced deja vu since 8th grade, this doesn't mean that I am incapable of re-finding my purpose, I just need to relearn how to listen and notice more. The simplest way to accomplish this is to figure out my strengths and weaknesses so that I can gain a greater sense of what I excel at and use this knowledge to find a path that gives me joy, knowledge and a greater sense of purpose and self.
The questions of whether everything truly happens for a reason (versus people finding a reason for everything), whether there is destiny or just truly random chaos we must interpret and act on are all good questions. What I am truly beginning to wonder is whether any of them have an absolute answer.
Turns out, that may not be such bad thing.
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